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          在关系中认识自我（克里希那穆提）
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<li><strong>只有当聆听者和讲话者双方在同一个问题上展开思考，方能实现自由的交流。</strong><br>
沟通的产生不一定要起始于某个看起来具有实际性意义的话题，只要抛出你的问题，沟通双方（多方）在思考同一个问题的时候，有效的沟通便产生了。从没有什么幼稚的问题，生活总是处处充满着智慧与惊喜的，沟通会对意义进行有效填充的。</li>
</ul>
<hr>
<ul>
<li><strong>除非一个人做着自己真正热爱、彻底热爱的事情，他才能始终处于正常的、真实的状态。当你在做着某件你会情不自禁地吧整个身心都投入其中的事情时，你才会是真实的，你才是在做你自己。</strong><br><br>只是，一个人若真的如此忘我的存在着，他还有多少是他自己呢。心理学上管这叫做心流，处于这样的状态的人，对时间和自我的掌控都是极低的，心灵在一定程度上是愉悦的。这样说来，那些让我们不那么痛苦的事情，才是真正的自己？如果这便是答案，这里便充满了谎言。刚看了美剧《不死法医》的某集，说的便是受虐淫者的话题。人在某种程度上，是需要痛苦去证明自己还活着的。痛，可以让人保持清醒。这几年来，对心理疼痛的思考来说，痛往往在心理上比快乐更让人成瘾。因为，疼痛往往是身心的双重感受，愉悦感却刚好相反。<br><br> 在公理上来说，人的正常取向应该是对美好生活的向往。至少构建一个和谐生活的生活是有必要的不错的想法，总不该有团体大肆的渲染破坏吧。纵然有被打上恐怖分子、破坏者标签的人，也总归不会在他们自己的团体内部渲染这种思想的，除非彻底的疯魔了。</li>
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<li><strong>若你观察自己的感情状态，就会发现那些记为愉悦、格外狂喜的时刻都不是预先安排好的，他们会神秘、隐秘、不知不觉地出现。当他们消失的时候，心里就会渴望重新拥有那些时刻，渴望重温它们。于是你便告诉自己说：“如果我能遵循某些法则，形成某些习惯，以这种方式而非那种方式来展开行动、那么我就可以再次拥有那些狂喜的时刻了。”</strong><br><br>最辉煌与可怜的都在这里了。人类用自己的智慧去理解规则、利用规则、创造规则，进而让这个时代如此的辉煌璀璨；人类却又深深地被规则所束缚，崇拜甚至迷信与因果。那些美好的瞬间划过后，便希望用规则来再次重温它们，那些痛苦的东西划过后，便希望用规则来规避它们。可怜的地方便在这里了，世上哪有多少因果，有的只多是微茫的巧合罢了。人已经深深的被因果荼毒，深深的痴迷与对未来的预测，痴迷于那些公式计算带来的安慰。没有人敢去相信无因果论了，因为这里面有极大的恐惧存在着。我们每个人都是靠着过往小心翼翼地活着。</li>
</ul>
<hr>
<ul>
<li><strong>思考什么是真实、什么是自发、什么是自我，只是一番徒劳。只是在浪费时间。这类思考只会导致幻觉。</strong></li>
</ul>
<hr>
<ul>
<li><strong>所以理性，意志都在控制和塑造着自我。之所以渴望去保护自己，是出于恐惧，而恐惧会把真实排拒在外。规训的方式正是恐惧的过程，由所谓的禅修制造出来的习惯会破坏自发性，会妨碍我们去揭示未知的事物。习惯属于心灵、属于意志，它只会克服恐惧而不会将其消灭掉。<br><u>你应该意识到心灵意志都困在那些旧的窠臼之中，同时还要意识到心灵一直都想要制造出新的窠臼。认真地对这一问题展开检验，或许可能会有更大的混乱与痛苦，因为自制、规范、道德法则，其作用都只是压制住那些暗藏的欲望和目的。当你投入整个身心，充分认识到了这种混乱与痛苦，不去想着逃避，那么真实就会自发地显现出来了。不过你必须怀有爱，必须被这种混乱和痛苦自发出热情。你必须用自己的心去热爱，而不是用别人的。</u></strong></li>
</ul>
<hr>
<ul>
<li><strong>不存在神的意愿，有的只是平凡、普通的欲望的意愿——想要功成名就，想要获得满足，想要出人头地。这种意愿是一种抗拒，它是恐惧结出的果实，恐惧在指引它、进行着选择、证明其合理性、对其加以规范和训练。这种意愿并不是神性的，它同所谓的神性意愿没有冲突。然而正是由于它的存在，才会出现痛苦与冲突，因为它是因恐惧而出生的意愿。</strong><br><br>不知道从什么时候开始，所有的意愿与期待都变成了对未来种种不安因素的防控了；也不记得上一次发自内心的只对美好的事物的期待，并努力去实践过，是什么时候了。大概是从我开始对努力会有回报的信念抱有怀疑的时候开始的吧。应该是出于自我保护，我也不太会期待美好事物的到来了。生活变成了生硬的存活。</li>
</ul>
<hr>
<ul>
<li><strong>我们发现，任何脱胎与赏罚观念的行动都必然是局限性的，因为这样的行动来自于恐惧。行动要么会带来澄明，要么会导致混乱，这取决于一个人所受的条件限定。如果一个人所受的教育是推崇成功，那么无论是在这儿还是在所谓的精神之域里，都必然会有对奖赏的追逐及其恐惧和希冀，而这便会让一切行动、一切生活都受到局限。尔后生活就会成为一种学习的过程，一种不断积累知识的过程。我们为什么要存储这种所谓的知识呢？</strong><br><br>我们生活的重心，往往会不自觉的偏向对奖惩目标的实现上去。成功会喜悦，失败会负累，而生活不会总是充满幸运的。</li>
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